Journey of a Muslim Princess

The "invented"

2012-02-10T11:55:00.001-08:00

They say my people are invented
That we cease to exist
We are an optical illusion
A mere figment of your very imagination
The damnation of an entire nation
Must have been made up
How could our beloved Israel
Ever be accused of any wrongdoings?
Shake hands with the devil
Mock the groom at the border who is pleading to see his wife
This is his life
Fenced in by every border
Like that old man that sat hours
Pleading for you to let him cross because he needed to see a doctor
And don't tell me you denying his entry wasn't methodical
As if you denying them entry and exit wasn't enough,
You took the imprisonment further
Locking up the innocent brothers
Vowing to never let them see daylight
The struggle is that of an invented cause
Because no one really cares about the Palestinians
They are just a number, their body count is all that matters
And even that is fabricated
As Israel tries to wipe the blood off their hands with every murder
But when they commit it, it's not called murder
It's deemed heroic
Even your textbooks validate that
Like when they erase the word Palestine off the map
And when my professor asks me where I'm from and
I answer Palestine,
"don't you mean Israel?"
No actually I don't
you know exactly what I mean
Don't tell me not to hate them
And don't tell me to forgive and forget
Just because your media chooses not to cover it,
That doesn't mean the genocide does not exist
I'm still waiting on someone to place a patent on the Palestinians
All inventions come with that, don't they?

The end

2012-02-07T08:45:00.001-08:00

And this is goodbye
I have reached the end of my rope
There's no point in journeying on
When I'm walking this road alone
I am giving up the battle
I have lost all hope
I have lost you
The most valuable thing, I could possibly lose
Forever...
I'm hopelessly journeying on
Pretending to be strong
Pretending to have overcome
I'm done pretending
Who are we kidding?
I loved you
But...
We've both lost out
There's no turning back
There's no point in living
If you're not here with me
I can't muster up the strength to move on
Because I never wanted to
I can't
I won't
There won't be another you
I can't get past you
I won't allow myself to
So this is the only way out
One last goodbye
One last tear hits the cheek
One last tear leaves the eyes
One last step until I reach,
the end of my journey
...

Shattered

2012-02-06T20:26:00.001-08:00

Looking in through the broken glass

You think you know it all

The entire story

The legacy of a love gone horribly wrong

You paint the picture for me

Although you don't even know me

You don't know the face behind the mask

You cant see past the cracks

You lack common sense to grasp

That this is my fate

Believe me, I had no say in that

But this is how it is

And it will always be

This stigma

That I can't change

I'm dying inside

It's killing me

Flesh upon flesh

The glass cuts the veins

And the blood drips and drips

Into puddles of shame

Broken glass

Broken hearts

And endless misery

You cant accept me for being me

Like stained glass, admire my beauty

Look past my faults

And embrace me wholly

Cracks upon cracks

You just can't get past that

Your tunnel vision won't allow you to

So let it be,

I let it go

The glass is broken

there's no way to fix it

I gave up a long time ago

because i knew that you couldn't look past the cracks

And now you hold the burden of shattering our dreams

Just like I'm shattered glass

And there's no point in mending me

You say you know, but you know little about me

The girl behind these fragments

Is merely a human being

Flawed, fragile, and naive

She is better known as me

The skin I am in

2012-01-14T19:43:00.001-08:00

This is the skin

The skin I am in

I may not be perfect

But I sure as hell am worth it

The media tells me I'm not beautiful

And that caking on my face will make me more desirable

That we should all look uniform

But my beauty far surpasses the norm

I am finding beauty In my flaws

I am learning to be content with it all

Every pore and bag, line and sag,

This is me, all of me

This is all I ever wanted to be

Comfortable in my own skin

Not hiding behind a mask,

Not blending in with the crowd

Not painting on my face

To be accepted in this place

I want to recognize myself when I look in the mirror

I want to uncover the hidden beauty I suppress

With every brush stroke, I build a facade

Of how I wish I was naturally born

You may see it differently,

But at least I am comfortable with me

even the flawless are flawed

I am more than what meets the eye

I am more than what comes in a glass jar

I am worth more than a passing glance

I am perfectly imperfect

I am beautiful,

Take me as I am

...

@Im_Danya

@ABajooka

@melly425

@waajj

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEND ME A PICTURE OF YOURSELF MAKE-UP FREE TO INCLUDE IN THIS BLOG, EMAIL ME AT danyabig@gmail.com

Save me

2012-01-10T08:20:00.001-08:00

Save me from myself

From this temporary abyss

From these restless nights

And this daunting misery

Help me escape my sorrows

Suffocate this hurt with your love for me

Inhale

Exhale,

my lungs collapse

I can hardly breath

Life has no meaning with out you here with me

Let's bury the goodbyes

And all the hurt u caused me

Let's start a blank slate

Revive me

Wake me from this coma of emotions

that has left me paralyzed with defeat

Let's live for today, we aren't promised tomorrow

But you're hear with me

Make me forget

Put me at ease

Break down this wall, you helped build for me

Let me in

Build me up

Shut me out

I'm drowning in my tears

And only you can save me

Take me

Mend me

Help me

Wake me

from this nightmare

Help get me back

up on my feet

This is defeat

This is what it looks like

I can't see in front of me

Guide me

You did this to me

I hate you for this

You ruined everything

Save me from this self destruction

Save me from me

Abandoned

2011-12-07T12:53:00.001-08:00

I still sit here and reminisce of you sometimes
You left so quickly
Not even a word of goodbye
You left me here all alone
Your footprints are still imprinted in my heart
Much like a tattoo you have left your mark in me
I am left here standing
Heartbroken
Shattered
Abandoned
By my own self conscience
Why did you leave me here?
Why couldn't I leave with you?
Do you know how much it hurts knowing I can't even see you?
I stand here alone
Reality has succumbed me
The road divided and you went on your way
Leaving me to walk this path alone
You left too soon
You were the answer to my prayers
You were the beating of my heart
You were the light that helped me see

But now I am left here alone in the dark
Abandoned and bitter
How do I forget?
How do I just walk on this path without you by my side?
I didn't even tell you goodbye
You left me too soon
The seasons have changed and
the path that I walk seems never ending
I am in denial
No matter how far I walk I will never reach you
You are gone
And I am left standing
Lost and confused
Where did I go wrong?
I wish I was with you
Away from this world
But you left me here
Abandoned
To make it through this life alone.

I am Palestine

2011-11-07T03:34:00.001-08:00

Can you imagine your water being poisoned and your home being destroyed?

Can you imagine crying out for help, but being ignored?

Can you imagine falling asleep to the sound of drones?

Can you imagine having your home demolished as you look on helpless?

Can you imagine that this is a reality you choose not to accept?

Can you imagine that this is happening right as you read this?

How many more of my people have to die for Israel to exist?

Is this not a second holocaust?

Can you imagine how many lives were lost?

How can you justify the killing of an innocent child?

Was he a jihadist?

Do you even know what jihad is?

(picture courtesy of http://twitter.com/#!/LeonJayJay)

As they shred the innocent bodies to pieces

You remain in denial of your part in murder

Wo to the child that has been torched and burned

Who lays awake at night tossing and turning from the pain

As they search through the rubble

dismembered body parts decorate their streets

Have you no shame?

Who is to blame?

When the number of corpses is higher than the number of living beings

The bitter reality of it all is this is happening to your neighbors

on the other side of the sea

The water that separates you is rather deep

Deep enough for you to ignore their injustice

Deep enough for you to show no sympathy

The oppressors are your allies

They kill my people by the masses

Give way to the ashes

When a four year old is scarred for life

Because she can not she with both her eyes

How do we explain to her why she sees no light?

That her vision is gone, but it's ok, she doesn't need her eyes

Because you're just as blind to the injustice as she

Because you can not imagine what it's like to be me

I am a Palestinian, I am the oppressed, violated, humiliated,

degraded, and dehumanized bitter reality that you cease to believe exists

I am Palestine

Palestine is me

Forbidden love

2011-10-27T04:17:00.001-07:00

Forbidden is the fruit of their love.

So bittersweet the taste.

So far from reality.

Dream on they say.

She isn't good enough.

You deserve better.

He says he has control but they both know otherwise.

He knew they wouldn't accept her but he lied.

He was afraid to hurt her, but they didn't think twice.

The only obstacle was her past.

To big an obstacle to overcome.

He let her go...

Though in denial he walks in their shadows.

This is the demise of a forbidden love.

All that remains of their love are broken hearts and stolen memories.

They stripped her of him.

The same man that made her smile,

is the reason she can't go to sleep at night.

This is all that remains of his legacy

What isn't now, will never be

The pain etched so deep in her heart,

she may never heal.

He was forbidden,

and she wasn't good enough.

They don't even know her story.

Yet, she is deemed unworthy.

They stripped her of his love.

He's presence became more of a nightmare than a dream.

She let him go because she knew it wasn't meant to be.

She wasn't good enough for his family.

The fruits of their forbidden love have dried,

much like her tears.

What could've been never did and will never be.

"We will never accept you."

But someone, somewhere will.

Their love as forbidden as it was was a beautiful love.

A beautiful soul, deprived of her right to be happy.

She forgives them for what they did to her.

Not for their own sake, but for his.

She is good enough.

Maybe too good in fact, although they may think differently.

This is the tale of a forbidden love.

So far fetched, it was like a dream

Maybe in heaven, just maybe...

Near death

2011-10-16T09:44:00.001-07:00

Last night a couple of close friends/cousins, my sister and I decided to go out for dinner at a Hibaci steakhouse near the city. We took two separate cars. Me and my sister traveled in one car and the other girls traveled alone in another. After Hibaci we decided to go for some frozen yogurt . So I instructed my friend to drive slower than usual so i could follow her to the frozen yogurt shop. She agreed and stayed on the right lane of the highway as to make it easier for me to follow her. It was fairly dark outside considering it was already 9pm.
As we were on the highway another car entering from the right lane came veering onto the ramp and tried to enter my lane almost causing a huge accident considering both him and I were speeding. I pressed so hard on the breaks to avoid hitting his car that my breaks jammed causing my car to stall in the middle of the highway. Panic stricken on a highway with cars speeding past I didn't know what to do so I kept pressing the gas but the car wouldn't move from it's place. It literally froze up. At that moment I looked up in my rear view mirror and saw a car coming from behind head on. At that moment I realized my life could be over. I put the car in park, forgetting to put my warning flashers on. And tried to turn the car on again. I pushed on the gas once more but the car wouldn't move. With tears in my eyes i sat there panicked and didn't know what else to do. I couldn't just jump out of the car, where could I run to? Meanwhile all this time cars were barely managing not to hit me. So i turned the car off on the middle of the highway. I tried to put the car in park another time and then shift to drive it finally worked and my car began moving.
I can't explain how scared I was at that point in time. The only thing i kept thinking as I sat there in my car was, if I die today, I can honestly say I don't know if I will be granted heaven or if i even deserve it for that matter. The whole ride home I was sighing heavily at the life and death situation I had nearly missed. The whole rest of my night I tried to act as if I wasn't bothered by what had just happened but in reality I was so shaken up that I couldn't wait to reach near my home. I fell asleep thinking about how close I was to death and woke up with the same feeling of nervousness. I cried a little this morning when I realized that I was alive yet another day...
Just a couple of days ago I was talking to a friend about how I will be 23 this coming April. They say the older you become the wiser you become, but I feel as if that doesn't apply to me. When I was 16-18 I was most spiritually attached to Allah. I used to be so much more religious and so much happier than I am now. I was so spiritual that I was memorizing whole surahs from the Quran. I rarely was late to, or missed a prayer. If I did, I scolded myself for it tremendously. I used to call my group of friends at 4am every morning to wake them up to pray fajr. I used to start my mornings reciting athkar il Sabah and end them with athkar al masaa. I would stand waiting at the bus stop with a masba7a (prayer beads) in my hand making supplications to Allah.
Now that I'm growing older my eman should be stronger, but it's slowly but gradually getting weaker. I am very hard on myself when it comes to my deen because i was at my highest level of solitude and I can honestly say I see how I have digressed. Alhamdulilah I still pray ever salah but I don't feel that connection with Allah I once had. Where has it gone? For the past few days I been making vows to change. I am far from perfect, and I have made my fair share of mistakes. There are no perfect Muslims, we all sin. I know I can be better. Yesterdays incident was the wake up call I needed that it's time for me to change. I'm not looking to become a sheikha, I just want to be able to say I am comfortable with dying, and I am not afraid of death. I can not say that. I am afraid because I know I could do better and with my own hands I am allowing myself to stray.
It is imperative to me to regain that spirituality I once had. I need to. It's crazy how I was vowing to change just four days ago and this incident reiterated all the reasons why I need to change. I want to stand on the prayer mat and perform my salah with passion, God knows lately I have been winging it astagfurAllah. I never ridicule others for their lack of eman before addressing my short comings. I am working on that. I need to change; with Allah's blessings I will change. I wrote this blogpost for no one other than as a reminder to myself. Alhamdulilah I was given the chance to change. Allah yihdeeni wa yihdee kul ummat Sayidina Mohammad (saw).

Taking a break

2011-10-14T04:21:00.001-07:00

I have decided I need a break from everyone and everything. I haven't been myself lately. I need a fresh start. I need time to rebuild what was broken. I have lost myself, but most importantly I have lost touch with Allah swt. At this point in my time, life has lost all meaning. I'm not sure why it is I feel this broken. I cant recognize the girl in the mirror. I am broken, and I need mending. I need to be able to let go of all of the hurt and anguish left in me. I need to forget those who have forgotten me. I just need to be alone to repair what the blind eyes don't see. I need to rediscover my passion for life. I don't know why I feel so alone and lonely. I need to revive my faith in Allah, if anything I have let him down the most. It has become rather transparent that behind this smile lies a broken heart. I know I need to work on my spirituality. My eman has decreased, maybe that's why I feel this low. Maybe that is why my nights are restless. I just need to find inner peace. I need to find my way back to Allah, and repair my broken relationship with him in order to repair me. When I better my relationship with him, I know I will be content with myself. I am on a spiritual journey to strengthen my faith in Allah and overcome this grief that has succumbed me. I am broken, and only Allah can fix me. The verses of his holy book will be the medicine that heals me. I need to get out of this place i am in. I need sometime to heal. By his mercy I will heal. So pardon me as I leave you all to get my life back together. This is however just another journey of a Muslim princess...

*Brothers and sisters I ask you all to keep me in your dua.

Retail Therapy

2011-10-10T07:56:00.000-07:00

          Walking into a mall, the same emptiness fills my stomach as i get sucked into the ever expanding conglomerates that rule me and my society.Ever notice how when pay day comes around, your wallets are filled and your content. The next day your out shopping for things to add to your stockpile of "why the hell did i buy that?" As soon as the money reaches you it is spent instantaneously. Ever notice why whenever you see the word "sale" your adrenaline starts to rush? I walked into a mall today and walked out empty handed. The whole ride home i was telling my sister that this was the first time i ever went shopping and came home with nothing. I felt guilty about it. Me? Danya? not buy anything? How could that be? I decided that i work too hard for my money to just give it away to the retail shops.
          I refuse to conform to societal norms. I refuse to follow the trends set for me. Call me a rebel, call me an outsider, call me an oddball. I refuse to follow what my society tells me to. I refuse to sit more than fifteen minutes watching the news that is filled with chauvinistic propaganda fueled by Rupert Murdoch and his ever expanding empire. I refuse to buy those ugg boots you say are in style this season. I refuse to let go of my culture and follow in your footsteps. I will not allow mass media to mold me into a spending machine. When i watch TV the sitcom itself is 15mintutes while advertisements take up the other 15. Bellowing at me to spend spend spend. We live to show off. That is how our society was trained to think. That same girl that has that iPhone 4, doesn't have money to pay her own bills. Our "Holidays" are nothing more than spending sprees on useless crap we have imported from China. Is Valentine's day really about love? Or is it just some made up Holiday to help stimulate this depressed economy?
          After 9/11 former President Bush Jr. told us all to "go out and shop." That was his solution to mending our broken country. We are nothing more than scavengers always on the hunt for the latest and best sales. When you sit camped outside in a tent on black Friday at your local Best Buy for a $300 laptop, how is that considered sane? Consumerism...
          You and i allow ourselves to conform to consumerism. I am guilty of it too, as shameful as it is to admit. Why are we so absorbed in material goods? Maybe that's why we are all in debt over our heads. Maybe that's why there has been such a divide between investment and corporate banks. Maybe that's why my uncle cant sleep at night. Because he purchased that beautiful house, yet he cant afford to pay his own damn mortgage. Because he will spend the next thirty some odd years of his life working to pay back a loan. Look around you, how many people are spending way more than they are taking in? And then when we're swimming in debt we decided to drive our cars of the nearest cliffs.
          Absorb it, every last bit of it. Remain in your perfect cubicle. Think inside the box. We are a society who lives and breaths materialism. Yes in order for you to be the coolest girl in school you have to have those latest pair of ugg boots and that juicy tracksuit. Yes if you don't shop for rags at Abercrombie and Fitch your an outsider. If you choose not to buy that $150 polo top with the alligator sewn in you have no taste in clothing. Why is the wealth of our nation in the hands of less than 10% of our population? Ever notice why your parents retirement age was raised from 65 to 68. Come time for you to retire, the retirement age will be set at 75, meaning you'll probably drop dead before you get your first paycheck from our government.
          This blog post isn't aimed at the retailers themselves, but our own government. Because of these tyrants ruling our society. the rich get richer and the poorer only get poorer. Because of my government, we were taught that it was okay to accumulate debt and spend beyond our means, we are however the greatest super power in the world. We need to live lavishly. So let the poor mother on welfare buy her son those Nike high tops that cost $200 because she was brainwashed into believing that with these sneakers he would be taken places. With this logo the world seemed brighter and doors would be open.
          We live in a monopoly. We all claim to be rich, yet the majority live in poverty. You don't own that house, the bank does. And you don't own that car, your leasing it. Spend to suit your selfish egos, and notice the more you buy, the more of a shallow human you become. I never dreamed of being rich, nor do i ever want to be. The richest people, are always the most miserable. They have so much money, but have no piece of mind. Don't give in to the capitalist lifestyle. Resist the temptation to max out all of your credit cards. You think that all of this materialism makes you happy. Yet when the bills come in the mail by the end of the month, your just as miserable as you were before you bought that designer handbag. Think twice before falling into the never ending cycle of retail therapy.

Tainted

2011-09-21T08:29:00.000-07:00

The skin is etched in regret.
The eyes themselves have dried, yet the tears still fall invisibly.
Blanketed by a forced smile, this is my life as i know it.
Labeled and read even before i am met.
Your perception of me is far from actuality.
Nevertheless, the show must go on.
I must go on pretending to have overcome.

As the nights pass me restless, i lay awake letting my conscience eat me whole.
At night, when the pretending stops, i am left alone to ponder on my misfortunes.

The scars have yet to heal.
The blood drips endlessly into a puddle of defeat.
The bitter reality is that this will follow me where ever i go.
Like a cloud it hangs over my shoulder.
No force, no matter how strong can remove this big of a boulder.

Forever tainted, the poison seeps into every pore of skin.
Like a cancer it spreads as i die slowly within.

Everything is not okay...
Everyday is a struggle.
Everyday the remorse builds and builds.

The wounds have unwoven themselves yet again.
They bare truth to the real state I am in.
This picture perfect facade I painted for you all is crumbling within.
My vulnerability is becoming unmasked.

This is my true identity.
Tainted and misunderstood.
This has become me.

* I wrote this poem over a year ago. It holds so much meaning to me. I still cry every time i read it because a lot of the pain is still there, but a lot of it isn't. Alhamdulilah =)

Love Stoned

2011-08-26T08:08:00.000-07:00

Temporary euphoria
as i enter his world of bliss

He looks over at me, smiles and whispers i love you

The suns rays captivate me, as i lay there inhaling deeply

I feel the sand between my toes, the sky so clear and blue

I feel the warmth of his body, i feel the warmth of his heart

He takes hold of my hand, and tells me to come with him

to escape the world, to run away from everyone

The passing breeze cools my flushing face

This is love

I am his and he is forever mine

I hear the waves nearing, oh how calm is this feeling

He takes my breath away

I am in love with him

I breathe a sigh of relief

I have found what i was searching for

My mind is finally at ease.

This is love

Just me, him, and this vast ocean

Seclusion, togetherness

A tear falls from my eye as i look at my surroundings

This is all i ever wanted

It has finally been granted to me

He grabs my face, and wipes my tear

He looks at me, as i gaze into his beautiful eyes

This is love, im drowning in it

This is temporary euphoria

The sky around us seems to darken in an instant

The waves come crashing in, as i hear the anger of the sea beside me

His face is stone cold, his touch no longer soothes me

He looks down at me

I see emptiness in his eyes

I see a bleak future with him

Im drowning in defeat

Those were bittersweet memories

A tear rolls down my face

as he looks down at me

He lets it fall, as the granules of sand absorb my hurt

So much has changed in such little time

My best friend has now become my worst enemy

This is not love

I just persuaded myself that it was

His beauty quickly faded and now im left feeling jaded

We have grown so apart, although we stand here toe to toe

I am not his, and he was never mine

My disappointment in him is oceans wide

This is not the man i once loved

This is temporary euphoria

- Danya Aljayyosi

For Gaza

2011-08-16T23:41:00.000-07:00

...

As they drop bombs on you tonight, i lay awake restless
In my comfortable ultra plush bed, 400 thread count sheets

How selfish of me

i feel guilt

I can do nothing to ease your pain

An eerie silence as i stare at the ceiling

i have a roof above my head

you are homeless in your own homeland

how can i sit here paralyzed, and do nothing?

my heart rests uneasy as i worry about you

I worry for your children

the fatherless child

the homeless teen

the pregnant wife

and the lonesome widow

All i can do is pray for you

Pray that the wrath of injustice will one day come to an end

you are with me, every minute of everyday

and i stand with you in your fight for freedom

although i am not there physically

i will not allow your cries to go unheard

i will not allow myself to sit back and watch the ethnic cleansing of my people

Your battle is mine

i will stand up for you

when your legs can no longer carry the weight

i will speak up for you

even when you feel that no one is listening

and my devotion to your cause will never weaken

i will fight with you until my final days

You are my role models

As i see your children walk the streets barefoot

i lower my head in shame

I'm watching this happen

and i can do nothing to alleviate your pain

the pain of a whole nation

your cries of grief go unheard in my land

they choose to ignore the fact that you've been wronged

and stripped of your holy land

to them you are nonexistent

but to me...

you are my everything

the injustice of my people is killing me

stand up to your oppressors

never turning the other cheek

fight for your homeland

fight for every grain of dirt and sand

i will never give up on you and your people

we must battle on

one day, some day i know we will overcome

one day we will rebuild and restore all what was done

and one day you will see a Palestine that is free

...

The importance of Salah or prayer in Islam

2011-08-09T06:47:00.000-07:00

The most important pillar of Islam is that of salat or prayer. A Muslim is told in the Quran to pray five times a day. To many of us, five prayers is far too much. Allah swt ordered Prophet Mohammad (peace and blessings be upon him) to pray fifty times a day. And the Prophet willing obliged. Prophet Mohammad begged with Allah swt to have the prayer reduced, which Allah swt mercifully agreed. He lowered the prayers from fifty to five. And yet we find it difficult to pray. Please note that when i speak of "we" i include myself. I am far from a perfect Muslimah.

I have been steadfast in my prayer since i was fifteen years old. My parents tried to force it on me, and the more they did, the more i rebelled. My mother would make me go pray, and i would put on my prayer clothes, go into my room and stand by the window for five minutes and come back. I was a jahleh (naive), i didn't understand the importance of salat. I was too lazy to perform salat. I was too busy to care. Then one day at the masjid Um Obada gave a lecture about the importance of salah. It really shook me and i decided it was time to change. Im not sure where she is right now on her journey through life, but nevertheless she holds a dear place in my heart.

Salah is one of the five major pillars of Islam, and it is the best way to show your obedience to Allah. Without all five pillars, your foundation will not remain standing. Islam is like a building supported by five columns; remove just one column and the entire building weakens. In the same way, when a person stops praying, his faith becomes weak, and the mildest blows can cause it to crumble [1]. With every salat we rejuvenate our faith in Allah and we ask for his mercy. With every wuduu' or abulation we wash away our sins and impurities. With every sujood we bow ourselves in humbleness to our lord. Whilst the nonbelievers pray only when they have trifles set in front of them, Muslims pray five times a day. If Allah swt didn't feel that salah was such an important aspect of Islam why would he mention it over and over in the Quran?

"What led you into the Hell-fire?" They will say: "We were not of those who prayed."

(Qur'an 74:42-43).

"Successful indeed are the Believers, those who humble themselves in their prayers."
(Surah 23:1-2)

"And those who guard [strictly] their worship, such will be the honoured

ones in the Gardens [of Bliss]."

(Surah 70: 34-35)

For those of you who are just starting out or have just converted to Islam it may seem difficult to keep your prayers. It takes time,patience, dedication, and most importantly persistence to maintain your salat. No one is perfect. I miss a salah here and there. I sometimes wing my prayers just for the heck of it. This is not about perfection. Nor is it a competition of who stands the longest on the prayer mat, or who reads the loudest during salat. It is merely about gaining a new found devotion to Allah. They say all it takes to break a habit is forty days. Well all it takes to make a habit should take about the same. Give yourself forty days. Set the alarm clock. Sleep with the intention to wake up for fajr prayer. If you miss one salah, its not the end of the world. We all do. But whatever you do. Keep your prayers.

I am in no way criticizing those of you who choose not to pray because at one point in time, i was in your position. At one point in time i didn't care enough to pray. And at one point in time after years of praying i stopped for two whole weeks. I make mistakes, but i learn from them. Its not easy, and it takes will power. No-one is born knowing how to pray. We all have to start somewhere. Just think of all that Allah has granted you. Cant you just thank him by completing a prayer. I have had countless debates on forums about salah and its importance in Islam. It is the most important pillar. In fact in the Quran it says that salah alone can distinguish between a believer and non believer. That's not to say that those of you who don't pray aren't Muslim, its to stress just how important salah is in Islam. Its like planting seeds in the desert. They will never grow, no matter what you try. You have to plant seeds near a water source. You are the seed, the prayer is your water. Without Salah how can you expect to attain the highest level of paradise? Imagine being in the company of our beloved prophets.

My brother is twenty three and he doesn't pray. He isn't a bad person because he doesn't, he just needs some guidance. When i see him, i worry for him. I wonder when he will dedicate his time to salah. Prayer is not an option, it is a command and basic principle of Islam. Do not let those who criticize you get in the way of your iman bil Llah, No one is perfect. Once again this is not about perfection. Even if you don't meet every prayer, at least make the effort to try. There will be days you don't even feel like getting up for salah. Those days will be the hardest as you have to sacrifice sleep for salah. But think about how long it takes to perform a prayer. Out of the 1440 minutes in one day can you set aside 40 minutes for salah?

Although i have been praying for over seven years now, the struggle is still the same. Its like your playing tug of war with shaytain. Do not let him win. There are mornings when my alarm clock goes off for fajr, and i turn it off and go back to sleep. Anyone who tells you they've mastered the art of salah can come and see me. We are only human. We will slip up. So don't go into this full throttle, don't go into it wanting to make up every salah you've ever missed. That will grow rather tiring fairly quickly. Take baby steps. Set realistic goals for yourself. But do not stall any longer. Do not wait until it is too late. Say your prayers before prayers are said on you. You never know if today may be your last day. What will you take with you? You wont be able to bargain with malik il mout to spare your life for your latest iphone. Its not happening. Listen up, If i didn't care, why would i bother even writing this? I want to see this ummah progress. Ask yourself this...are you not worthy of Paradise? Are you not worthy of entering the eternal bliss called Jennah? You are worthy of Jennah! But you must work to achieve it. Just like you worked your butt off to pay for that new mac-book, you must work to attain Jennah.

I pray that of all the people that stumble upon this, that at least one of you changes. If i change at least one of your minds, my job here is finished. And when you stand on that prayer mat barefoot, look up, hold your hands high and make dua'a for me. We are all on this journey together. We are however just travelers stopping for some shade. Do not get sucked into this world for it is temporary. Build yourself a humble abode in Jennah.

"The worldly comforts are not for me. I am like a traveller,

who takes a rest under a tree in the shade and then goes on his way."

(Tirmidhi)

PLEASE WATCH THIS MOVIE ABOUT SALAH, IT IS A MAJOR EYE OPENER

Sources:

[1] http://www.themodernreligion.com/basic/pray/why.html

Dear Allah

2011-08-07T22:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Allah,

I think you know more than anyone what i have been struggling with these past few years. You have witnessed the countless nights i lay awake crying my eyes out, and muffling the sound of my cry in my pillow as to not wake my sisters. You were the only one who witnessed everything that i was put through. You have seen me in my weakest phases. You have seen every tear that rolled down my rosy cheeks. You watched over me as i struggled to regain my self confidence. You have seen it all. You are the only one that understands how much i have been hurt. You know exactly what I'm going through without me having to utter a single word. When i sigh my heavy sigh, you know that i am worried for my future.

I cant speak to anyone, other than to you. I do not want to worry my mother with my problems. I can not trust my friends with my feelings. I can not call on to anyone but you. You are my confidant. Because i know that you understand me. You know my story therefore you don't judge me. I think we can both agree that i was put through hell in these short three years. Bitter they were, and yet I'm still alive. Who knew? Just two years ago, i felt that my life was over. I felt that i would never be able to recover from this blow. That i would never be able to overcome. And you practiced patience with me, even when i turned away from you.

When i was going through my problems and things were only getting worse I turned away from you when i needed your guidance the most. I was at the lowest point in my life that i didn't even want to get out of bed. I didn't want to wake from my sleep. I didn't want to see anyone or do anything. I stopped praying to you all together, and those were by far the worst days of my life. I guess i grew impatient, because i wanted you to answer my prayers right then and there. But now that i think of it, you have been most patient with me. I was so down that i felt that no matter how much i prayed nothing would get me out of the situation i was in. I gave up on you and for that i am eternally sorry. As i look back now, i regret ever questioning you. In those two weeks i stopped praying my life had hit rock bottom. Then i decided to try again. I knew i could confide only in you, and you would listen. I'm so sorry ya Allah for turning away from you. I am now back on the right path and that is all thanks to you.

You know those days when you wake up crying and go to sleep crying, yea today was that type of day. I need you ya Allah. Please help me overcome this. Its been a long time coming, and i need a break. I don't know if my body can take anymore. I have grown tired. Its been a long and hard battle. I just want to be happy, and that seems like the hardest thing. I just want some peace of mind. I want to forget the past. I want to be able to smile without having to force myself to. And as much as i say i don't want to get married, you know that I'm not being honest. I want to find the man that will look beyond my past. The one that will look past my flaws.The one that will be able to erase all the pain. The one that will love me unconditionally. The one that will make me smile. The one i can be myself around. You know more than anyone how lonely i am, and how tiresome this journey has been. I pray that you help ease my pain. I pray that you provide for me sustenance, and you grant me patience. It3ibit ya Rabi. I just want to be happy. Please grant me that. When i cry let the tears be those of happiness. When i smile, let it be a smile of authenticity.

You understand me more than i understand myself. You bear witness to the countless dua'as i make. I entrust my fate in you, because you are best to decide. I know that one day you will answer my prayers. I know that you are testing me with this obstacle. I wish things didn't have to be this way. But like it says in your Holy book, you do not place a burden on a human he can not overcome. I need you Allah, now more than ever. These last few nights have been restless. My eyes haven't dried. I'm falling back, please don't allow that. Please Allah, guide me. I need some guidance. I need this weight to be lifted from my chest. I want to breath easily. Help me overcome this. You are my everything and i love you forever and always. Without you and your religion i am worthless. Please help me. I'm tired and I need you...

Your loyal Servant,

Danya A.

This never ending journey

2011-08-04T09:29:00.000-07:00

How do i close the gates of this utter lie?

How do i find closure in what once was mine?

I drift in a never ending sea of hurt.

The earth and its possessions are so minuscule to me.

I remain solid, in my place.

I can not turn back, i must move forward.

What once was, will never be.

This world is so fast paced, its constantly moving.

Yet I remain immobile.

The healing phase has stalled once again.

I remain solid in my place

I feel as if my feet can no longer handle the weight

The weight placed on my shoulders i can no longer take

And yet i drag on

Leaving the memories in there place

This journey is leading to no avail

How much longer can i take?

Yet i sum up the courage to keep at this pace

I must move forward

Never looking back

Never losing hope

Although there's little left of that

The journey has grown tiresome

The traveler needs a break

She settles by a tree to catch some shade

I look down at my worn feet

I must move on

How much longer until this ends?

How much more hurt can i take?

The destination seems so far away

Yet i battle on

Keeping my pace

Welcome Ramadan

2011-07-30T22:22:00.000-07:00

Im extremely excited for Ramadan this year. I cant wrap my head around why some Muslims dread Ramadan. I have been anxiously waiting for this holy month for some months now. I think we all need to gain back much of our spiritaulirty lost along the way. I in no way claim to be the best Muslimah. I have had my fair share of mistakes time and time again. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. But the true Muslim corrects his or her mistakes. During Ramadan the holiest month of the year none of a fasting Muslims dua's go unheard by Allah swt, NONE! I am truly blessed to see yet another Ramadan. I think i need that boost of spirituality now more than ever. Ramadan is a reminder to me to thank Allah for everything I have been granted. I always come out a better person. Hopefully this Ramadan, i will spend it prosterating with my forehead against the bare ground, pleading with Allah for forgiveness.

This Ramadan i am truly grateful that i am still alive. That i am able to see one more Ramadan. That i am able to yet another year wipe away my past years sins. I shift quickly to a true story i would like to tell. My friend Jeanine's father passed away the first day of Ramadan over ten years ago. He hadnt been a practicing Muslim his whole life. He also chose not to fast for whatever reasons he may have had. Jeanine's father Imad decided one day to change his whole life around. As Ramadan approached he made the intention to fast for the first time. He called his mother on his drive home and told her the good news. He told her that he was fasting. Imad also asked for her to cook him something so he could break his fast. On his way home, he had a severe car accident and was pronounced dead at the scene. He had every intention to fast that Ramadan, but subhanAllah his life was cut short.

So where am i getting at with this story exactly? I guess my main point is to remind you that this Ramadan may be your last, it may be my last as well. We never know when its our time to leave this temporary world of material and capital. So i ask you all to make this Ramadan a memorable one. Go into Ramadan with good intentions. Dont go into it with a negative attitude as if it is a burden that has been placed on your shoulders. During Ramadan, the gates of hell are closed. Satan is not able to tempt the beleiver during the holy month. That being said, your actions during Ramadan are all you sans shaytan. During Ramadan you have only yourself to blame for your mistakes. This is a good opportunity for us to reflect on the path we've chosen and make changes accordingly. Ramadan teaches the believer self control. Control of ones self, being that Satan is no longer coercing you to sin.

I also ask all of my fellow Ummah to respect others during Ramadan. Do not criticize the chain smoker who fasts half a day. Do not tell the brother that his fasting is worthless if he doesn't pray. Do not tell the sister that is eight months pregnant that she should have stuck it out and fasted the whole day like you did when you were pregnant over twenty eight years ago. Do not make fun of the brother who breaks his fast on a cigarette instead of a date. Do not play the role of haram police and criticize your fellow Muslims. Do not mock the way the converts pray, and do not make fun of the teenage guys that come for iftar and leave right away. Do not play the role of Allah in telling people that they are going to hell if they keep up their ways. By our selfish ego's we push those in need of guidance away.

This Ramadan make it less about food and those treasured Ramadan series'. Make it less about the lavish feasts and the decadent sweets. Around the world people are starving on a daily basis. But unlike us, they do not break their fast on a full plate. Instead there fasting is a never ending fast built on flour and rice. Thank Allah swt that you were granted the better life. And every time you countdown the minutes until iftar raise your hands and say "Alhamdulilah" that you have food to eat. Famine is spreading like wildfire across the sea, as you fill your belly far past its capacity.

I hope that during this Ramadan we can all make positive changes that will pave our way to jennah inshAllah. I hope that this Ramadan is one of many more to come. I hope that you all have a blessed and safe Ramadan. I hope that we all can come out of this month wiser and more dedicated to serving Allah.

Ramadan Kareem!

Insha'Allah yin3ad a3lenah w3laykum bil si7a wil salame7 ya Rab!

Ignorance is bliss: The hijab diaries

2011-07-21T22:31:00.000-07:00

Some people live in ignorance. Which seizes to suffice for there lack of spirituality. To them, this hijab is shielding me from my freedom. To them i am oppressed and have no say. They tell me to assimilate into the "American" way of life. They tell me this hijab will keep me from achieving success. There eyes are blind to the beauty of my hijab. It is not merely a cloth i wrap around my head. It is neither a blockade or barrier to my success. They dont understand me here. There ignorance wont allow them to comprehend that my hijab is my dignity. It is my pride and my sharaf. They look at me with pitiful eyes, and tell me that i should leave my culture behind in my homeland. They do not understand the mere beauty of hijab, and the many things it symbolizes. These people dont want me to hold on to my traditions and my beliefs. "Your in America" they say. But my hijab is my marker, it allows all of them to know im a Muslimah. How would they know if i just blended in with them. They tell me i look better without my hijab on, to them its all about looks. To them, me being covered is an offensive thing. To them a scantily clad woman is perfectly okay, although she is treated like scum.

To them, because im covered, i was "forced" to do so. They refuse to accept the fact that i chose this for my self. No one ever forced hijab on me. I was only twelve when i began wearing hijab. Every time i entered school grounds my friends would tell me

"your still wearing that rag on your head? take it off, your mom is not here.
You'll wear it before you leave home."

They never took time to understand why i chose to wear hijab. To them i was the ignorant one who believed in an unseen God. I remember being younger, walking through the hallways and having strangers pull my hijab off. To them, my religion, my purity, my innocence, and my chastity were a joke. They were oblivious to the fact that my hijab was and still is my identity. I am a walking symbol of Islam. What is more beautiful than that? I represent my religion by choosing to wear hijab. I can not imagine ever taking off my hijab. It has become part of my identity. It has become me, all of me. But they are blinded by what they see on their t.v's and they think that if a woman is covered, it means shes constantly beat. They lack the proper consciousnesses to accept my faith and beliefs. In my society, i will always be looked down upon in grief. But if they only took time to understand the importance of my hijab, they would come to the realization, that my hijab earns me my respect in society. My hijab is my everything. Alhamdulilah.

SUMMER 2011 PIC'S

2011-07-17T20:23:00.001-07:00

A Friendly reminder

2011-06-16T06:53:00.000-07:00

I walk this path alone, lonely and lonesome,
but i rather be alone than in the state of remorse
they say whats mean to be will always find its way
they say to let go of love and if it comes back to you it was yours, if not than it wasn't meant for you,
I believe in divine fate.
This was my fate, this will forever be my fate.
It wasn't a pleasant experience but through it, i have learned many lessons
i do not regret my decisions and i stand by my judgement
the peering eyes they judge me
but their words they don't phase me
because i have learned that i walk this journey alone,
i can only depend on myself,
and in loving myself, i can find my happiness
People do not change,
There is no going back, the journey continues,
you can only move forward
as much as its hurt to let go, its by far the best decision you've made
and although you shed tears when your alone,
you shed them because your lonely
you know you deserve better, but the lonesomeness eats away at u
so you do a double take, but oops, you slipped up, that was a mistake

you are the lucky one, the one that was able to escape
and although they stare, they know your brave
your brave to have stood up for your respect
and in that you earned this humble poem i have written from the heart

your lonely and its killing you, but don't let that get the best of you
you have made it this far, and you can make it farther
throw the past away
and when you remember the past remember all the hurt and pain
and remember how much you cried
do not remember the good, because there was little of that
You deserve better, and we both know that

MY BABY OREO

2011-06-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

WET 'n' WILD color icon palettes

2011-06-09T10:12:00.000-07:00

I must say i am adoring these palettes=) I am a sucker for high end beauty products but when i can get the same look for less than half the price, you know i cant say no to that. I get the mac quality without the mac price tag. These wet n wild color icon shadows are of high quality, and the color payoff is outstanding. There are currently four color icon palettes. Vanity, pride, greed, and lust. All of which are equally pigmented. These palettes retail for about $4.99, and you can purchase them at most drugstores like CVS, or Walgreens. Whats even better is when you can snag them on sale for half off or bogo.

Yes my friends, j'adore these palettes.

LUST

GREED

VANITY

PRIDE

MY PERFUME COLLECTION

2011-05-27T20:33:00.000-07:00

LOLA by Marc Jacobs

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

DKNY RED DELICIOUS by Donna Karen

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

INCANTO CHARMS by Salvatore Ferragamo

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

COCO CHANEL MADEMOISELLE by Chanel

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

ROMANCE by Ralph Lauren

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

PEACE, LOVE, AND JUICY COUTURE by Juicy Couture

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

JUICY COUTURE by Juicy Couture

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

LIGHT BLUE by Dolce and Gabbana

Lower Your Gaze!

2011-05-20T21:25:00.000-07:00

I remind all you brothers and sisters to lower your gaze. Some of us think that this ayah only applies to men, but we are wrong. Women are also asked to lower their gaze, since gazing is like zinna (adultery).

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! Allah is Aware of what they do.

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest.” (An-Nur: 30-31)

I am reminded of this ayah from the Holy Quran because last week a man came up to me very upset asking me,

"why is it that every time you see me, you look down, and dont make eye contact. Dont you know this is a workplace and its bad for business, if i look you in the eye and you look down. I dont know much about your religion but you should at least look me in the eyes when im talking to you."

I didnt know what to reply. Since when is being modest and having poise a bad thing. Since when is lowering your gaze a bad thing. I have always learned that believing men and women should both guard their gazes,and avoid eye contact for too long with the opposite sex. Yet here in the workplace it is deemed inappropriate.

Now that the weather is getting warmer here in the states, the layers of clothing start to come off, and we see plenty of this and plenty of that indecent exposure. Whether it be a shirtless man, or a bikini clad woman, the temptation to look is simply overwhelming to some. Shaytan (satan) plays with a believers head and tells him/her to look, and not just for seconds. This staring of sorts is a way to communicate your interest in a person. You think if you gaze at them long enough, they will fall in love. Since when do we take practices from the non believing kuffar and use their pick-up techniques. Since when is it okay for a married man to lay on the beach with is covered wife and stare at every women that passes by. You do it to yourselves. You put yourselves in those awkward situations when you go to places like public beaches.

I urge you all, do not listen to the shaytan, he never has your best interest at heart. Although at times it may be hard to lower your gaze remember Allah swt, and remember his orders. He specifically mentioned the importance of lowering your gaze in the Quran. As they say the proof is in the pudding.

So my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, practice piety,

and lower that gaze.

As for the man that was mad because i wouldn't keep eye contact with im for too long. He can go somewhere. Obviously i will choose to listen to my Lord, than to him, a pathetic man who knows nothing about modesty, and self worth. Sorry i wont bat my eyelashes at you or gaze into your eyes, if thats what your looking for, look no further than a mirror.

My sanctuary....

2011-05-19T22:27:00.001-07:00

Riverfront Green Park

This park by the Hudson, has become my humble abode. I come here sometimes after a long day of college or work, and just sit by the water and make dua. Sometimes when im stressed i look at the water and think,

"Ya Allah, this vast river is like all of my tears."

This park is about five mins driving from my home. It is where i run away to every now and then. I love looking at the water in front of me, and just taking time to relax, to realize that inshallah things will get better.

♦On no soul doth Allah place a burden greater than it can bear. (2:286)

♦On no soul do We place a burden greater than it can bear: before Us is a record which clearly shows the truth: they will never be wronged. (23:62)

♦And those who believe and do good – We do not impose upon any of them a burden beyond his capacity. (7:42)

NEW VIDEO ☺_☺

2011-05-15T22:23:00.001-07:00

♦Fresh Summer Salad♦

2011-05-14T22:40:00.000-07:00

This is my all time favorite salad recipe.
Courtesy of me, myself and I.

Recipe:
♣Fresh express organic spring mix or 50/50 mix
(baby lettuce greens red Swiss chard, mizuna, tatsoi, baby spinach, arugula, frisee & raddichio)
♣Vine ripe tomatoes
♣Cucumbers peeled/sliced
♣Apple cider vinegar
♣Italian dressing seasoning (pouch)
♣Extra virgin olive oil
♣Lemon zest
♣Lemon juice
♣Fresh mint
♣Whole walnuts
♣Muenster cheese (shaved in ribbons and or finely shredded)
♣Craisians aka dried cranberries

OH MUSLIMAH, EDUCATE YOURSELF

2011-05-13T20:23:00.000-07:00

So my last final was today, (breathes sigh of relief). To be honest, its been one heck of a week alhamdulilah. Finals in Spanish, Environmental Studies, Speech Comm, and Early Film. Back to back finals but alhamdulilah, i am finally free. Ahh, i cant believe its been two years. I have learned volumes in these past two years. SubhanAllah, how much college can change a person. Oh how quickly time passes. I have learned that the value of an education is indeed priceless. Many of my classmates take what they have for granted. That being said, in most of my classes, half the class showed up for the final. I rant that "I hate college" all the time, but in all honesty, i love it, in a weird awkward little boy who loves Pokemon way ☺.

I strongly urge those of you who are contemplating on whether to go back to school, to DO IT!!!! Its never too late. I have students in my class that are older than my parents. If they can do it, so can you. All it needs is a little dedication, a lot of computer paper, and a spiral notebook or two and you got yourself a degree. This degree will eventually take you places. It will open up for you doors that would have otherwise remained shut. Many Muslim girls my age finish high school and get married soon after (for example Me!!).

The biggest regret i have, was not starting college right after i graduated from high school. Ugh, every time i remember, i die a million times inside! When i went back to college in 2009, i wasn't expecting to do so well but Alhamdulilah it all came back to me as soon as i sat in those uncomfortable seats in the classroom. Yes, this is where I belong, in a classroom, with gum stuck under the desk, not at home at the age of 19, playing the role of Betty Crocker. I am proud to say i have made it on the Presidents list at my college for two consecutive years. My GPA is a 3.94 ( jealous? you should be!). It took a lot of hard work, tears, little sleep, and dedication to get where i am now. But looking back it was all worth it. The best decision i ever made, was going back to College.

From now until some random day in September, i will put my brain in cool down mode. You know, i like to hibernate all year around! Now all i have is work and the summer rays calling my name. Summer, watch out, here i come!

Sometimes it's better to be alone. No one can hurt you that way.

2011-05-05T21:21:00.003-07:00

I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mending whole was good as new. What is broken is broken - and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

“If they can’t get close enough to hurt you, they can’t get close enough to love you.”

The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
~John Vance Cheney

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran

Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it forgoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury. ~E.H. Chapin

Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself.
~Harriet Nelson

ISLAM IS NOT THE ENEMY

2011-04-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

   No matter how you put it, Muslims are not the most Favorited people on planet earth. We have some how earned a reputation that we do not deserve. Three weeks ago i stood up in front of my speech class and spoke to them about Islam. I drew a circle on the board with the word Islam in the middle. Then i asked them to tell me what came to mind when they heard that word, and so the list begins
1. Terrorists
2. Shariah law
3. Jehad
4. Strict
5. Oppressed
6. Sunni/ Shiite
7. Hamaas
8. Family oriented

   Several of my classmates rolled their eyes and asked questions about why we beat our women and why we are trying to take over America. None of which are true. One gentleman, (i would choose other more explicit words to describe him☺) kept bringing up shariah law, which he claimed he knew so much about.

   He was very vocal. HE WAS AN ATHEIST......Shocker huh?

   I could only find one word to describe him...ignorant. Ignorant in his dialect, character, and beliefs. And yet he felt the same of me. He said he felt bad for people like me who believed in this "nonsense." SubhanAllah as he spoke his vials of poisonous hate, all i could think about was Allah swt. Allah doesn't think he is worthy of being a Muslim. Allah swt has placed a veil over his eyes so he can never be guided to the right path.
How can people judge one religion or one group for a minorities actions. Is that not called stereotyping? How can some people have so much hate towards us, when they know nothing about our religion and our principles. How can people label me and my family, before they even meet us. The ignorance of our generation is only getting bigger. We watch FOX and absorb all their hate speech against Muslims. Then we begin to think that Muslims are the enemy. How come every time the word terrorist is mentioned Muslim is always preceding it? You claim you have studied my religion, but my question is, where are your sources? Wikipedia can not be one of them. The only way to study Islam is to read the Holy Quran. Not just a couple of lines, of your liking. But from front to end. Then you are allowed to judge me and my people. Not until then can you claim that Islam is a bad religion. If you get your sources from some low budgeted Atheist forum or some Jehovah witness brochure, then you know relatively nothing.
We are taught not to judge books by their covers, but im covered, and you judge me anyways. To you i have no voice, and most of all no choice. To you im oppressed, and told how to dress. To you, I seem naive, and you may want to "rescue me". But in actuality you know nothing about me. Oh how the media has trained you how to think, and what to think.

I ask all the skeptics to give Islam a chance. Stop with the hate speech, and the criticism. Pick up a Quran...NO not to burn it, but to read it. Read between the lines. Understand the words of vitality stored in this holy book. Then again, you can not judge my book by its cover.

Marwan Khoury- All the poems

2011-04-06T19:10:00.000-07:00

All the poems
"Ah for a heart that is trapped by love
Love weakened him and he is painfully hiding it
And because of my love, i told her about my secret
I told her about the heartache she caused
I saw the reflection of my pain in her eyes
She said my love for her is forbidden,
she was my life, but when she turned away
Death would have been more merciful

All the poems from your beautiful eyes
And from the warmth of your hand,
I write them on and said them.
That poems are not just a story of my soul,
Its written with emotion, specially for you

This is a song of a love which last for years,
These are tears and my longing for you,
These are my days with u,
My heart adores you, without love who I am?

All the poems from your beautiful eyes
And from the warmth of your hand,
I write them and said them.
That poems are not just a story of my soul,

Its written with emotion, specially for you

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

Arabic: Ahen 3ala qalben hawaho mohakamon
sa3ba el jawa menho fa yaktomou
way7i ana, bo7to laha b serihi
ashkou laha qalban b nariha moghramo
w lama7to mn 3aynayha nari w 7arkati
Qalat 3ala qalbi hawaha mo7aramou
kanat 7ayati fa lama banat b na2yeha
sar el rada ahein 3alaya ar7amou

Kel el assayed mn 7ala 3enayki, mn dafa edayki ktabton w elton
hawdi el assayed msh 7aki ya ro7i, hawbi kel el assayed, hawleki kelon
Kel el assayed mn 7ala 3enayki, mn dafa edayki ktabton w elton
hawdi el assayed msh 7aki ya ro7i, hawbi kel el assayed, hawleki kelon

Hawdi el aghani gharami senini, hawdi demou3 w nagham w 7anin
hawdi eyami ma3 albi eli beyewja3
ana lawla el hawa, ana min
hawdi el aghani gharami senini, hawdi demou3 w nagham w 7anin
hawdi eyami ma3 albi eli beyewja3
ana lawla el hawa, ana min

Kel el assayed mn 7ala 3enayki, mn dafa edayki ktabton w elton
hawdi el assayed msh 7aki ya ro7i, hawbi kel el assayed, hawleki kelonYa reitni 2amle b sha3rak, kel lama ashta2lak atsa7sel w ashoufak ♥

"So patiently persevere for the Promise of Allah is true."

2011-04-05T08:34:00.000-07:00

Dear Danya,
Subhanallah how quickly time passes. How quickly you realize that you shed tears for those who mean nothing to you now... How quickly you come to realize that your decisions proved to be for your benefit. How quickly you understand the meaning of happiness and respect. How quickly things can change for the better. Just when you think the rope cant get any tighter your cut loose. Alf alhamdulilah=) Now u know the difference between happiness and know to choose better in the future.

Now you know that love... is in the eye of the beholder. What you felt ceased to exist. You wanted it to, but oh how quickly it like those tears evaporated as if nothing was there. Now you know to stand up for yourself and not let anyone get in the way of your happiness. Not once did your army leave you to fend for yourself. Not once did Allah swt not answer your prayers. Not once did you call onto him and he not listen. Things are falling into place slowly but surely. Through this you've learned lessons you can teach your kin. You grew to become a better person. Your independent self sufficient and productive. They failed to break you.You work, you go to school and you have the most wonderful family. You are surrounded by those who feel your happiness is imperative to theirs. Two years ago you felt like your life had ended, but you quickly realized that this is only the beginning. The shattered shards of glass didn't need to be glued back together. You molded a whole new life for yourself. Wallah ya Danya, mantee aleeleh lol ☺

You have found that happiness you never thought you would. Your patience will surely be rewarded. How quickly you forgot the past and journeyed within yourself to find hope for the future. You are blessed in so many ways. You are unique and beautiful both inside and out. You deserve nothing but eternal bliss. I am so very proud of the women you have become. Not once did you doubt that Allah swt would help you weather the storm. Not once did you fall into pressure and temptation. You are my hero. You have grown in my eyes leaps and bounds. You are simply amazing and i commend you for your patience. For surely it has paid off.

"So patiently persevere: for verily the promise of Allah is true;

Not let those shake thy firmness,

Who have (themselves) no certainty of faith."

Surah 30:58-60 Al Rum

Happy B-day to ME☺☺☺

2011-04-04T17:29:00.000-07:00

YOU-TUBE CHANNEL

2011-03-14T20:31:00.002-07:00

PLEASE CHECK OUT MY YOU TUBE CHANNEL.

YOUTUBE IS MY SECOND FAMILY.

I have learned so much from my friends and i hope

my channel and videos were of some help to my subscribers.

YOUTUBE.COM/USER/PalisPrincess

"What lies beneath"

2010-10-18T22:50:00.000-07:00

What lies beneath shall not be told

for that is what my future holds.

What lies beneath is scary and deep

and all it does is make me weep.

What lies beneath will make you shiver

that thought alone is merely bitter.

What lies beneath can not be tamed

for i myself have turned insane.

My children will come to mourn at my grave

and cry the tears of those being slayed.

When they bury me i will lay

in my coffin i will rot till day.

They will push and pull while burying me

im my palms i will not let it free.

This secret will forever and always haunt me

even when im gone it will leave its legacy

What lies beneath will not be discovered

it is covered and hidden in the dirt and rubble

What lies beneath shall not be told

it will live with me until i grow cold

stiff as a rock, and yet so bold

this secret is blanketed by the whispering souls

Danya Aljayyosi

**For those of you wondering what this dark secret is, there isn't one. This poem is totally irrelevant to my life, but its so deep!

My beautiful Cousin Sajah aka juju

2010-10-17T23:43:00.001-07:00

_"SORROW"_

2010-10-16T22:13:00.000-07:00

"Sorrow"

Pity i dont need

although im tainted indeed

in my skin i bleed

the roaches and mice they feed

...

Your sorrow shown by card

will not remove the scars

I know this might sound harsh

but forgiveness will be barred

...

Pity i dont want

dont you dare feel sorry for me

your sorrow will not be accepted,

it will be inspected and rejected

My life with you is hectic

...

Sorry just don't say it

but i myself dont blame you

for i have brought myself to my knees

bruised and scarred their paining me

...

But i dont need your sorrow

not today / not tomorrow

Danya Aljayyosi

Please note that all of my poetry is copy-written. I have been published in several poetry books as well as in several newspapers. Please ask permission before using my poetry or referencing it.

Gone but Never Forgotten

2010-09-15T21:47:00.000-07:00

I have been meaning to blog about the death of my grandfather for sometime now. However with work and college, i rarely have time to write.My grandfather passed away July 7th 2010 from Pancreatic Cancer. His battle with cancer was short lived and it progressed while his health, deteriorated. He lived exactly three months after his initial diagnoses. But I'm not writing about his past, or the cancer itself. Instead, I'm writing about how much of a heavy hand religion plays into death. My grandfather (Jamal Aljayyousi) passed away when he was 79 years old. To some of you, than may be a life short lived, but to others, it may seem like he lived a long life.

He came to America to be treated. He had high hopes that he was going to be cured and was even planning on returning to Jordan in three months time. I however, did my research to find out that Pancreatic cancer patients rarely live past 6 months. Only five percent of those diagnosed live to one year.We tried our best to keep it hidden. No one wanted to break the news to him, or my grandmother. What do you say to a person in that situation? So we kept everything quite. My relatives tried there best to provide him with ample hospital care and even took him to chemotherapy sessions. Nothing seemed to be working and he only got worse. His appetite was that of an infant. He rarely ate and he was never hungry.

One day my uncle decided that we couldn't hide the truth from my grandfather any longer. He told him of the doctors findings over a web cam since they were seas apart. My grandfather took it with such strength, and said that "whatever Allah swt has written will play out and he is grateful for everything."

“Qadar Allahu ma shaa a fa’ala”

“Allah has decreed and he does what he wills”

I couldn't get a grasp of why even after my grandfather knew he had a few months to live, he had hope that he would recover. He even asked my aunt to buy him some personal items so he could take them back to Jordan with him. We all sat around him knowing that he had hours to live, yet all of us were left feeling paralyzed. We couldn't do anything to stop it. No amount of money could cure him. It was his time to go.

I still picture him every now and then on his deathbed, and it brings back very disturbing images. I remember the night he passed away. My cousin and i were planning taking a quick nap so we could sit by him at night. As soon as i went up to take my nap so i could stay up with him through the night, he passed away. We were told he had two hours to live. He lived two days beyond what the doctors anticipated. He was so strong. Rahmit Allah a3lay.

I still cant believe how someone i saw one minute alive, was dead the next. I stood over his dead body heartbroken. I have never in my life encountered a deceased person until i saw him. His body was so stiff and he lay there rigid and soulless. I remember bending over to kiss his head and feeling his cold skin against my lips. That was the moment i realized he was really gone. The funeral director came and took him to the funeral home at about 2 that morning. I woke up the next day to a view of the bed he died in. How was someone who was with us one second now being buried in front of our own eyes?

How does this tie into religion you ask? I pose one question...How do people not believe in God?

It frustrates me that people don't believe in the creation of God and the verse :"to him we are, and to him we shall return." Allah swt is the most powerful,and he is superior to us in knowledge and strength. The simple fact that we couldn't do anything to cure my grandfather from this monstrosity of an illness is proof enough for us thar Allah swt is the creator of all things. We can not decide when it is our time to go. That is Gods choice, and nothing we say or do will change that. When i hear people dismiss the existence of God it baffles me. How were you created? The same person who has created you (Allah swt) is the sole person who can take your life away. Since the day we were developing in the wombs of our mothers' our life was written for us. We were given a limit to how long we live. Only Allah swt knows how we will live and how we will die. No psychic can predict that. We don't have control over when we die, but we do have control over how we die.
We can choose to die believers or kafurs, that's one thing we can solely decide for ourselves.

Thank Allah

2010-09-14T20:44:00.000-07:00

When your facing many hardships in life, it can really take its toll on you both physically and emotionally. I remember asking this same question...why me? Why did this happen to me of all people? I didn't deserve this! Until I realized just how much reward i get for my patience. Allah swt places no burden on a human more than he knows they can handle. Allah swt is testing me. He wants to see me persevere.

I heard the somber story of an Egyptian women in the Mosque today. She was very distraught over her daughter who had passed away. She showed us her picture in the Arabic newspaper, and i just glanced down at the words in Arabic not knowing what they meant. She said her daughter committed suicide in July 2010. She was severely depressed and hung herself to die. I immediately rolled my eyes and passed judgement on the young girl. What was she depressed about? The fact that she couldn't get an I-pod touch for her birthday or because she doesn't have the latest smartphone? Unbeknown to me, there was a real reason for her actions. Her mother was a single parent. And the girl had grown up without a father. To fill that void for her daughter, the mother married an Egyptian man. To her, it was the right thing to do. Her daughter would grow up with a fatherly influence. Soon after the marriage the daughter became sick, mentally. She was always sheltering herself in her room and rarely spoke to anyone. Her mother thought it was peer pressure or bullying at school that may have caused her change in attitude. She was too busy working to make money to satisfy her daughters wants and needs to notice just how sick the girl was.
Then one day the young girl spoke to her mother about why she was so depressed. The new fatherly influence in her life had tried to rape her repeatedly when her mother was at work. The mother was shocked by this revelation and confronted her new husband. He fled soon after, leaving the mother distraught and the daughter scarred for life. The mother tried her best tom make her daughter forget, and she vowed to never let another man in her life. She soon became super mom, she wanted to buy her daughter anything and everything she wanted. To her, those material things would help the girl forget. One week before the girl passed, her mother was working longer shifts to buy her a new iPod. Her daughter on the other hand had no intention to use that iPod, she instead, was planning her own death. On the day of her death, she called her mom to ask her when she was coming home, and her mother said in two hours. When the mother arrived home later that night, she found her daughter hanging by a noose in her living room. She was pronounced dead at the scene. Her mother is emotionally impaired for the rest of her life. She blames herself for her daughters death. She carries the weight of her daughters death solely on her shoulders. The mother now goes to a therapist every week to treat her depression.

After i heard her story, the only thing i could say was alhamdulilah, (Thank Allah). Thank Allah swt that it wasn't our family. I also realized how small my problems were compared to hers. I finally found it in me to say alhamdulilah for all that has transpired. I used to say it before, but now i truly meant it. I found that my hardships were baseless compared to hers. I felt selfish for taking what i have for granted. This opened my eyes to the realization that i should be grateful for everything that has happened, and thank God it wasn't worse.
I also have to admit, it feels quite rewarding to know that Allah swt has given me a "test" of sorts, and thus far, im persevering.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOPQwRJ1tFg

Burn A Quran Day? really?

2010-09-11T07:09:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to post my two cents on this issue. I know many people have weighed in about this issue and it has stirred up so much controversy. This priest (Terry Jones) is what i call a radical extremest. Im pretty sure he was very misunderstood as a child, and he didn't have many friends. he obviously feeds off of the attention everyone is giving him. This is probably the first time in his life anyone has actually given him the time of day. But lets let him basque in the 15 minutes of fame before its all over and he goes back to his four person church in the middle of no mans land.

I dont understand why, when a Muslim man battles for his country he is called an extremist, yet when a psycho is burning copies of holy manuscript its okay. What atrocities has this world come to? I would never dare do that to a Bible or a Torah, so why do people feel the need to do it to the Ummah? Its just another way to make us Muslims feel inferior to them.

What i also find quite comical is the fact that Muslims burn pages from the Quran everyday. In-fact, when we want to get rid of a loose page from the Quran, or when we want to get rid of something with Allahs name on it, we must burn it. And i would like to thank all of those imbeciles before hand for funneling more money into the hands of Muslims. Because of you my Nationalist friends, Quran production has gone up, and you are lining the Saudi governments pocket book. Well done.

So today is the anniversary of 9/11, lets see what happens around the world, on national
"Burn A Quran day"

The heart has hardened/ il alib isee

2010-06-26T21:09:00.000-07:00

The heart has hardened, it knows no black and white, it sees no middle, it feels no emotion. There is no light. The heart has become solid, almost stone cold. It feels no regret or happiness. Its indifferent yet bold. The heart was trained to feel this way, to feel the state of nothingness. Emptiness, a void. This heart was once tender, soft and juvenile. But that heart was weak, therefore being fragile. You asked the heart to toughen up, and this is what you get, what do you expect, do you have any regrets? The heart has learned to shut off all feelings and emotions. The heart has learned to bask in the harsh world. You wanted it emotionless, and here is the result. The heart is stronger now, it inst weak and vulnerable. The heart chooses its words wisely now and never lets its guard down. It must constantly keep this wall up, to keep it from crumbling down. It must guard the true state it is in. It appears soft and naive but this heart knows better.

This heart has gone through a rebirth, its no longer feeling pleasure. Because this heart knows that along with pleasure comes the pain. The heart is learning to shut out both, without dismay. Yet the heart was never bitter. It knows not to dwell on the past and choose better in the future. The heart is in a stage of recovery. It must go through all stages. It may be hard as a rock today, but it wasn't that way yesterday. The heart WILL eventually learn to let the wall down. But for now, the heart needs time. It took a while to build it, it will take a while to be knocked down.
Written By: Danya Aljayyosi
all rights reserved

I begin my Journey

2010-06-17T19:43:00.000-07:00

A brief intro:

I began this journey quite some time ago. I was contemplating whether or not to start up my own blog. Im writing this blog with one intention (bi'idniAllah swt). I want his blog to be a source of hope and guidance to my fellow Ummah inshallah. If one person out of one thousand benefits from this blog, i will be happy. Please allow me to introduce myself...
I am a twenty-one year old Palestinian American.
I am a Sunni Muslim who practices her religion with nothing but utter pride.
I am a college student studying to work in English/Journalism
Im a huge grammar fen, (notice the major!) but this blog will be unedited, just like me~

I began this blog as a sort of therapy. Therapy to some people may be eating a pint of Haagen Dazs ice cream, to others its drinking until the bad memories fade away. Others hurt themselves as a source of therapy. My therapy is in my writing. I use it as my voice when i feel i have no voice at all. Sometimes, things are better written than said. I have a tendency to explain my feelings much better with a pen and pad. As some of you may already know, i am a recently divorced women. Contrary to popular belief, i requested it. When i was married, and i was going through some difficult times, i would write to ease my pain. I felt as if that was the only way i could clear my mind. I didn't want to tell anyone that my marriage was heading south. I didn't want to worry my mother, or tell my closest friends. I thought i was capable of fixing and mending the broken shards of glass. So my writing was my only outsource to all my hurt. It was the only place i could go to "fadfid" or let go. I still have the remnants of that journal left. I flip through the pages every now and then, and i see small wrinkles on them. Those wrinkles were formed by my tears. The pages tended to absorb all the hurt. The pages of my spiral notebook never judged me. I expressed myself through volumes of writings. I hade two choices, to express myself through my writing, or keep it all bottled up. I chose to use my experiences as a learning lesson to every Muslim girl.

This blog is for all those Muslim girls who can relate to my situation and understand my true message. So let the journey begin...

Journey of a Muslim Princess

The "invented"

The end

Shattered

The skin I am in

Save me

Abandoned

I am Palestine

Forbidden love

Near death

Taking a break

Retail Therapy

Tainted

Love Stoned

For Gaza

The importance of Salah or prayer in Islam

Dear Allah

This never ending journey

Welcome Ramadan

Ignorance is bliss: The hijab diaries

SUMMER 2011 PIC'S

A Friendly reminder

MY BABY OREO

WET 'n' WILD color icon palettes

MY PERFUME COLLECTION

Lower Your Gaze!

My sanctuary....

NEW VIDEO ☺_☺

♦Fresh Summer Salad♦

OH MUSLIMAH, EDUCATE YOURSELF

Sometimes it's better to be alone. No one can hurt you that way.

ISLAM IS NOT THE ENEMY

Marwan Khoury- All the poems

"So patiently persevere for the Promise of Allah is true."

Happy B-day to ME☺☺☺

YOU-TUBE CHANNEL

__________"What lies beneath"__________

My beautiful Cousin Sajah aka juju

_____________"SORROW"_____________

Gone but Never Forgotten

Thank Allah

Burn A Quran Day? really?

The heart has hardened/ il alib isee

I begin my Journey

"What lies beneath"

_"SORROW"_